Gentle prompts for recording the farewell you’d like, or the freedom you’d like to give your family, and where to keep it.
Last reviewed · For readers in Australia
In short
Start with the feeling you’d like the day to have.
Then the practical choices: burial or cremation, and the kind of service.
Write it down simply and tell someone where it is.
Some people know exactly what they’d like at their funeral: the hymn, the poem, the cake from the bakery on the corner. Others would rather their family decide, and want only to give them permission to keep it simple. Either way, writing it down is a gift. It spares the people you love from guessing at the moment they’re least able to.
This guide offers some gentle prompts. You can answer as many or as few as you like, and you can change your mind as often as you need.
How you’d like to be remembered
Before the practical details, it can help to think about the feeling you’d like the day to have. A celebration with laughter and your favourite songs? Something quiet and traditional? A gathering at the beach, the bowls club or the family farm?
Services Australia notes that a funeral isn’t a legal requirement in Australia, so a small memorial later, or no service at all, is also a choice you’re free to make.
You might also write a line or two about what matters most to you: that people don’t spend too much, that the grandchildren are included, that someone tells the story about the caravan.
The practical choices
These are the questions families most often find themselves answering:
Burial or cremation, and where you’d like to rest or have your ashes scattered.
A service or not, and if so, religious or not, and who might lead it: a minister, a celebrant or someone in the family.
The place: a church, a chapel, a hall, a garden or your home.
Music and readings you’d love, and any you’d rather not have.
Who you’d like to speak, and whether there’s anyone you’d like asked first.
Photographs, flowers, or a request for donations to a charity instead.
A gathering afterwards, and what you’d like served, if you have a view.
Clothing, jewellery or a keepsake you’d like with you.
Cultural or faith practices that matter to you, and who can help your family follow them.
If organ and tissue donation matters to you, Services Australia notes that hospitals can check the Australian Organ Donor Register, so registering and telling your family are both worthwhile.
Costs and prepaid options
Moneysmart explains that funeral costs vary a great deal depending on the type of funeral you choose, and lists the most common costs, from the funeral director’s fees and coffin to the cemetery or crematorium and the wake. Its page is worth reading before you decide anything.
There are a few ways people set money aside in advance, and Moneysmart and the NSW Government explain them:
A prepaid funeral lets you choose and pay for your funeral now with a particular funeral director. The NSW guide notes there’s a cooling-off period in NSW, and that some prepaid plans don’t include the burial or cremation itself, so check what’s covered.
A funeral bond sets your own money aside to be paid out when it’s needed. It can’t be withdrawn early.
Funeral insurance involves regular payments for a set amount on death. Moneysmart cautions that it can cost a lot more than the benefit your family receives, that you usually keep paying premiums for life, and that if you stop paying you can lose your cover and what you’ve paid.
The NSW guide notes that only some of these are exempt from the Centrelink assets test, so if you receive a pension, ask Services Australia how an option would be treated. And for advice on whether a particular product suits you, please speak with a licensed financial adviser. We can’t recommend one over another.
Writing it down
You can record your wishes in a simple letter or form. Moneysmart notes that a will can include your funeral wishes. It also helps to keep a separate copy where your family can find it quickly, in the first days. You might:
keep a copy with their important papers at home
give a copy to their executor and a close family member
mention it in their will, so the two documents agree
Our printable my wishes checklist has space for all of this alongside your other plans.
Talking it through
A short conversation can make your wishes feel much more real to the people who’ll carry them out. You might say, “I’ve written down a few thoughts about my funeral, and I’d love you to know where they are.” It’s also a chance to say which parts truly matter to you and which they should feel free to change.
Each fact in this guide was checked against these official pages on 23 October 2026. Rules and forms change, so please check the source for your own situation.
This is general information, not legal, financial, insurance or medical advice. For your own situation, please speak with a qualified professional or the official body named above.
