How to write a letter for someone to keep: what to say, letters for the future, and how to make sure they’re found.
Last reviewed · For readers in Australia
In short
A letter in your own words can become a treasured keepsake.
Start small: one memory, one thank you.
Tell someone where your letters are kept.
A letter in your own handwriting can become one of the most treasured things a family keeps. It can be read again and again, on ordinary days and hard ones, long after the moment it was written. And you don’t need to be a writer to write one. You only need to say something true, to someone you love.
This guide offers some gentle ways to begin, ideas for what to include, and how to keep letters safe so they reach the right person.
Why letters matter
Letters can hold the things that don’t fit anywhere else, such as the reasons behind the choices in your will, or what you learned from the years you lived. They let you speak directly to one person, in your own voice.
There’s some research on this, too. In a 2005 study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, Harvey Chochinov and colleagues offered people who were terminally ill, in Canada and in Perth, the chance to talk about what mattered most to them and what they’d most want remembered. Their words were transcribed and edited into a document they could leave to family. 81 per cent said it had been, or would be, of help to their family.
It was an early study without a comparison group, so it can’t prove cause and effect, but it suggests how much this kind of leaving can mean.
Who to write to
You might write one letter to the whole family, or a separate one for each person. Some people write to:
a partner, about the life you’ve shared
each child, about who they are and what you’ve loved watching them become
grandchildren, including those too young to read it yet
a friend who’s been there through everything
someone you’ve lost touch with, or need to make peace with
You don’t need to write them all at once. One letter is a lovely beginning.
Where to begin
A blank page can feel daunting, so start small. Try finishing one of these sentences:
“The day you were born, I remember...”
“Something I’ve never told you is...”
“What I hope for you is...”
“I’m so proud of the way you...”
“When things are hard, I hope you’ll remember...”
Write the way you talk. Your family will hear your voice in your phrases, your jokes and even your spelling. Don’t worry about getting it perfect. Crossings-out are part of its charm.
What you might include
A memory you share. The camping trip when it rained for a week. The first time they beat you at chess.
What you see in them. Specific is better than general: “the way you always notice when someone’s left out” means more than “you’re kind”.
Stories from your life they might not know, and what you took from them.
What you believe about living well, love, work or faith.
Thanks, and if it’s needed, sorry.
Your hopes for their future, without telling them how to live it.
Some people write letters to be opened at particular moments: an 18th birthday, a wedding, the birth of a first child, or simply “for a day when you miss me”. You might label the envelope with when it should be opened, and trust someone to keep them until then.
A short recording can work too. Some people record a voice message or video alongside their letter, so the words come with their voice.
Letters and your will
Some people write a letter to sit alongside their will, explaining why they’ve made particular choices, or who should have personal things such as jewellery, tools or photographs. If your letter is meant to explain or support choices in your will, it’s wise to ask your solicitor how the two should work together, because a letter usually isn’t legally binding in the way a will is.
keep them together in one envelope or box, with your important papers
tell your executor or a close family member where they are
keep a copy or a photo of each, in case the original is lost
give some letters now, if you’d like to see them read
Giving a letter while you’re here
You don’t have to wait. A letter given now means you get to see it read, and perhaps to talk about it afterwards. Saying what you mean while you can is one of the things our guide to a bucket list that’s really yours suggests making room for.
If you’re grieving and would like to write to someone who has died, that can help as well. Our guide to grief mentions some other gentle rituals.
Further help
Our questions to ask Forty gentle prompts that can help you find what you want to say.
A solicitor If a letter is meant to explain choices in your will, ask how the two should work together.
Sources we checked (2)
Each fact in this guide was checked against these official pages on 23 October 2026. Rules and forms change, so please check the source for your own situation.
This is general information, not legal, financial, insurance or medical advice. For your own situation, please speak with a qualified professional or the official body named above.
